Free yourself from the “good person” feedback excuse!
Beware of the "good person" feedback defense. We’ve all been there! You want to give someone feedback, but then you think, "but he's a good person/she's a good person." And because that dissonance feels too uncomfortable, you avoid it. The result is that good people don’t hear the feedback that might actually help them do the thing they want to do: improve at their job.
This "good person" syndrome stems from understandable fears:
We don't want to hurt others' feelings.
We don’t want things to escalate!
We don’t want to damage a relationship.
While these are all legitimate concerns, they are driven by emotions and the misconception that you're somehow judging someone's worth as a person. You’re not. A person's goodness is not in question. No one is asking for that kind of feedback. Move past the "good person" defense when giving feedback by remembering:
You’re evaluating performance by sharing your observations and perceptions.
You’re helping a "good" person improve at their job!
The problem with avoiding feedback is that you’re ignoring the employee experience. You’re preventing growth and development in yourself and others. This is especially challenging when you want to give upward feedback to a leader who might be a “good person,” but who lacks the essential management skills needed to lead a team.
Productive feedback conversations require both awareness and skill.
We don’t recommend that anyone ever wing it or avoid it.
If you want to learn more, get our course, Feedback That Fuels a Growth Mindset! It’s for managers and leaders who need to learn quickly so they can apply learning immediately.
