Civility is more than polite behavior. True civility is about recognition and unity.
CIVIL360: ME
Pop Quiz!
WHO do you have a better chance of changing:
Yourself?
Anyone else?
WHAT takes more of your energy:
Changing yourself?
Changing anyone else?
You get the point. There’s no one to change but self.
Self-awareness, or self-inquiry, is not soft. Self-awareness facilitates freedom from mental stories and physiological stress. Civility is for you. It’s for your peace.
Reactions are human, but they also contain information. Being curious through self-inquiry is a good way to build personal resiliency. Over time, you might still react, BUT you will see it faster and stop it before it can drain your mental energy.
CIVIL360: WE
We actually do have more in common than not. Here’s why.
From the list below, choose everything you desire for yourself and your loved ones:
Happiness
Prosperity
Peace
Meaningful work
Safety and security
Connection
Love
Joy
All of the above
Mostly everyone wants some version of that list. And that’s the level of recognition that we can meet each other as human beings.
CIVIL360: US
It’s up to us as individuals to consider how we want to show up “out here.” Civility is a moment-to-moment choice. When you’re bothered, feel it, and then let it go for your peace of mind. Letting go is not about resigning oneself to “how it is.” Letting go is recognizing that you’re feeling triggered, and intentionally choosing to not spiral down into the rabbit hole.
Each time you recover, you literally rewire your brain to be less reactive. Reacting from anger might give a moment of relief, but it usually comes with regret. If you have not reached enlightenment yet (who has?), you will still react. It’s your awareness, in the moment, that matters.
The next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or is rude, or whatever it is you find uncivil, feel it (don’t deny your feelings). You’re not a robot. You’re going to feel and observe some negative s*it. It’s about understanding where your true power originates: within you. When you react differently (i.e., with more awareness), that’s usually when others seem to change too!
Some say this world is just our reflection, maybe - maybe not. What do you want it to reflect to you?
